IC MAILBOX | holly heights

[prosecutory]

[Date: ????? Time: ?????
1438, Holly Heights
spouse | son | child
current regain inventory: prosecutor's badge, Pess the dog, King of Prosecutors trophy, framed lucky trial jacket]

Good day. This is Miles Edgeworth; I cannot take your call at the moment but please leave your message and I will respond as soon as possible. Thank you.

Comments

[prosecutory]

[Edgeworth doesn't even need to step outside to see what has happened. Long trails of something white are obscuring his windows, and when he opens said windows...

Let's just say the block probably heard the sound of his temper snapping. Actually he does step outside and finds himself enveloped in toilet paper on the way out to see the damage. Once that's done, he spots the message on the door and his blood boils even further. He decides to send an angry text message to the only suspect.]

Yes, I enjoyed my solitude last evening.

Unfortunately, it was ruined this morning by a vandal. I don't suppose you have any idea who covered my house in toilet paper while I slept?

[strippingsensei]

<sub>[ In the distance, Aikuro hears a small sound as he is out on his porch, enjoying a cigarette. It's very, very faint, but very distinct. He knows precisely what it is.

As soon as he gets the text message right after, he's cackling. It's a good thing he doesn't have school to do today, otherwise he would have laughed in the middle of his lecture.

Yeah, he's one of the teachers that has his cellphone in class.

It takes him a moment to respond. ]</sub>

Whaaaaaat?
Somebody toilet papered your house????? Who would do something like that to you of all people???

[prosecutory]

[Wow, Aikuro, such a role model. The teacher everyone asked for.]

Yes. I think I have an idea.

[strippingsensei]

Really? I know you're good at figuring things out, but surely you can't be that good.
_{[ surely there are more people who would have liked to do this to your house.
but anyway, he's just being a dick. ]}

[prosecutory]

Perhaps you've underestimated how determined I can be when searching for the truth.

[Not really. Other people may have wanted to but that doesn't mean they'd actually do it.]

[strippingsensei]

Okay, okay. You got me. Guilty as charged. ;)
Come on. It's funny. Isn't it funny?
_{[ ??? ]}

[prosecutory]

No.

I see nothing funny with a mess that must be cleaned up.

[strippingsensei]

Not a little bit, teensy bit funny?
What if I helped you clean it up?
_{[ he just wants to see you loosen up. THAT'S ALL HE WANTS. ]}

[prosecutory]

No, not in the slightest.

But I would appreciate the help.

[strippingsensei]

Not even a smidgen, ITTY-BITTY bit?
_{[ he's making his way back to Edgeworth's house as we speak. ]}

[prosecutory]

My answer is no, Mikisugi. So, will you help me or not?

[strippingsensei]

Only if you get on your knees and beg for it, Edgeworth.

[prosecutory]

[WOW HEY.]

That doesn't answer my question.

[Also no way is he going to get on his knees and beg. Especially not in front of Aikuro.]

[ ACTION ]

[strippingsensei]

_{[ He doesn't reply to the text.
Instead, he asserts himself into Edgeworth's yard and rips a large piece of dangling toilet paper off of the tree, humming pleasantly. ]}

[ ACTION ]

[prosecutory]

[Edgeworth is still by his window when Aikuro strolls into his yard. His eyes widen a touch; he had not expected this, and not so soon at that.

He finally steps out of his house, hands behind his back, and approaches him tentatively, gathering the toilet paper he can find along the way.]

...Thank you, I suppose. [Even though this was your fault in the first place.]

[ ACTION ]

[strippingsensei]

It was totally worth it.
I could hear your shriek from all the way down the block, Miles-san.
_{[ snerkkkk. ]}

[ ACTION ]

[prosecutory]

Worth wasting all this toilet paper? [He's still collecting every last roll, every stray sheet. And he is still not impressed that he has become a source of entertainment for you, Aikuro.]

[ PERMA-ACTION ]

[strippingsensei]

I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
_{[ he yoinks some more off of the branches before giving Miles a huge grin. ]}

[prosecutory]

You would waste toilet paper on a massive scale again in a heartbeat, you mean. [One arm full of the stuff, he tugs at the trails hanging over one of his windows.]

[strippingsensei]

I'd waste as many toilet paper as I could muster to hear you make that sound again.
_{[ there's a wink. it's gross? he's gross. ]}

[prosecutory]

...What sound?

[OH, HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT SOUND. He just doesn't want to talk about it.]

[strippingsensei]

You know. Screaming, yelling-- all those nice sounds of frustration.
_{[ la de da, looks like this tree is getting cleaner and cleaner! He's wadding up all the toilet paper into one big ball. ]}

Have you never pranked anyone before? It's an absolute delight.

[prosecutory]

[He bristles, but says no more about that as he just busies himself with cleaning up his own yard. Edgeworth wonders how he can properly thank Aikuro after this somehow...nah, this was the logical consequence of TP-ing his place. Nope, sorry, Aikuro. No thank-you notes.]

No. What's so delightful about stunts like this? [He holds up a large hunk of crumpled-up toilet paper.]

[strippingsensei]

You have never pulled a prank, so you don't know how satisfying it is! You should try it someday-- really!

[prosecutory]

The answer is still no, Mikisugi.